


Are you sure that is Lube?

by LokiBitch07



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Dom!Sherlock, Experimental Sherlock, Lube, M/M, Smut, buttplug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 06:56:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiBitch07/pseuds/LokiBitch07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock wants a quicky in an empty pool basin.<br/>John really hopes that the small bottle Sherlock has on him really is lube....but it might not be. <br/>Crack!</p>
<p>Written for a prompt on tumblr.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are you sure that is Lube?

“Sweetheart, no here. Not now. We don’t even have lube!”  
John squirmed under Sherlock’s weight as he felt himself pushed against the cold wall of the empty pool basin.   
“Hmmmm...” Sherlock nuzzled at his neck, his hands insistently groping at John’s crotch, long fingers already opening his belt and the buttons of his trousers.   
“SHERLOCK!” John gave a push against the lean chest in front of him. He was already hard in his pants, feeling the precome wetting the area around his leaking cock, but he would be damned if he would use spit as lubricant once more. That had been a bad idea the last time, and he was not willing to go through that again. The buttplug he was wearing shifted slightly, and he gasped.  
God dam it.   
Sherlock stepped back, panting softly, his brows knitted in concentration as his hands frantically searched through his many pockets. 

“AHA!” he exclaimed, a large grin spreading over the pale features of the tall detective. God, that mouth….  
He was holding a small bottle of what seemed….seemed….

“Babe, I don’t think that is lube. That looks like hand-sanitizer to me…”

“Nope. Lube. Now turn around John.” John thought about requesting to see the bottle, but the sharp command made his knees weak. He could see the dent in the taller man’s trousers and felt his own cock twitch. 

God, how he loved it when Sherlock got all bossy around him. 

He slowly turned, reaching out to steady himself against the cold, tiled wall. His trousers and pants were pulled down with a yank, pooling around his knees. Cold air hit his behind, and he tried to stifle a groan.   
He heard the sharp sound of a zipper opening and then Sherlock leaned against him from behind, pressing his body against the wall, a gentle finger carefully twirling around the base of the butt plug firmly lodged between his buttocks.

“And I won’t even have to prepare you….” Sherlock’s dark voice whispered into his ear as he teasingly gave a small push against the rubber, the plug shifting, but still too short to get anywhere close to his prostate. John leaned his head back, resting it next to Sherlock’s unruly curls as his neck was nuzzled once more. 

“Let’s get on with it. I don’t have all day. Push, John.” The voice that Holmes used now was cold and authoritative; Sherlock of course knowing about John’s kink was for slightly rough, dominating sex. 

As ordered, he pushed against the plug, aiding Sherlock as he gave a pull with his fingers. It slipped out easily, as they had used quite a bit of liquid soap this morning to put it into place. Cause it made him clean as well as slippery as Sherlock kept insisting. 

“Lean forward and spread your legs, you little slut.”  
John gasped.   
And followed the whispered order.   
“I think you have had enough preparation for today….” John heard the faint click of the bottle cap. God he was so hard.   
He whimpered under his breath. 

There was a cold sensation at his anus as Sherlock positioned himself (He had not even pushed down his trousers, just pulled himself out between the opened zipper, dear Lord, that was so fucking HOT….) and then he slowly pushed himself into the warm loosened opening that was John Watson.  
John’s eyes flew open. 

It burned. 

Fuck, IT BURNED.

“GOD DAMMIT SHERLOCK, I HAD TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS HAND-SANITIZER, YOU BIG GIT!!!!!!”

So yeah.   
Hand sanitizer was now added to the list of things not to ever fucking use as lube again.   
Next to spit, motor oil, conditioner, tooth paste (really, what had they been thinking????), pre-made salad dressing (he had smelled of thousand island from his ass for about a week…), yogurt (ok, that had not been too bad, but messy as hell) and chocolate syrup.

Fuck, Sherlock just liked experimenting way too much. 

What an asshole. 

And John decided to buy at least 3 dozen bottles of small lube and strategically place them in every coat, jacket, nook and crevice he could think of. 

Sherlock had frozen above him, not pushing in but also not pulling out.

“Aww fuck, just … you know…”  
And the tall, beautiful man grinned and spit skilfully on his own cock.

Sigh.


End file.
